Questions About Therapy
Therapy is where two people come together with one being a client and the other a counsellor and decide to form a professionally relationship.
As a person-centered therapist, I give you space to speak and explore some of your difficult feelings.
I have experience working with bereaved clients, adults abused in childhood and general counselling.
If we decide to work together after your assessment then you will be placed on the waiting list
Once I have availability I will contact you. If you still wish to have counselling with me then we can arrange our first session; you can then book follow up sessions thereafter
Counselling works best with regular weekly attendance.
Therapy works best when attended regularly, therefore attending is all you have to do.
No, I will not tell you what to do, as a person-centered therapist, I believe the client knows best. After all you may have friends and family doing that already, this could be why you decide to seek out a counsellor.
Yes, therapy can help however there are different therapists who work with different modalities. Therefore it is best you find a therapist that will align with your needs.
Once we start our sessions we will work together until either of us feels you have gone as far as you can. I may refer you on to another therapist if you present a life challenge that is beyond my scope and knowledge. And I feel you would get more specialist support from a therapist who specialises in that area. This will be with your consent, and again you do not have to go with my recommendation.
Each individual is different therefore I cannot say, I have worked with clients short term 6 to 12 weeks and long term 12 weeks and over.
Yes, as a requirement, I keep brief notes both for my own reflection and supervision. To ensure that I am working ethically for the care of all of my clients.
Yes, all sessions are confidential with some limitations, which I will discuss with you at our first session.
Yes, you can however, I will have no further communication with you once the sessions start due to confidentially.
We can set up a payment plan, I accept payments online, BACS, transfers and other acceptable methods. Sessions are paid in full before each session.
You will decide the day and time you can attend sessions and if I have that slot available then that will be your session day and time for as long as you need counselling.
Appointments usually go in stages
- Once you have made contact I will get back to you in at least two working days
- I will contact you for a brief telephone conversation (Free)
- I will then find out your availability to do an assessment which will last for 30 -40 minutes (charged)
- At the assessment I will take some background information, we can decide if we can work together.
- You will be seen as soon as I have a slot available to see you. If I am not available immediately you will be placed on the waiting list which maybe 4-12 weeks depending on demand.
- I will contact you once I have a session slot available.
- If you change your mind in the meantime, please get in touch.
British Association for Counsellors and psychotherapist, they are one of the leading governing bodies in the UK. They ensure therapist are working ethically and are working in the best interest of clients? Most therapists are recommended to be registered with a governing body. Being registered with a governing body give clients a space to report should they have a grievance with a therapist.
In order to be a member of the BACP I need to be qualified, you can check their website for all qualified therapists. If the therapist is a member of the BACP they will be qualified. You can always ask which governing body are they with.
If you have had a loss or are feeling overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings which are affecting you on a daily basis. You may feel you want to speak with someone who will listen with empathy and not tell you what to do. Then yes you may need to see a counsellor but only you know what may be needed.
We are both free to choose and it is in your best interest to choose a therapist who you feel comfortable with. Even if you decided that you can and then change your mind that is fine.
Therapy works best if both the client and therapist are comfortable with each other. Cancellation policy will be discussed during assessment.
Questions About Bereavement
We are all individual so the time for crying will differ, crying can be part of the grieving process and when you can cry it relieves the emotional charge which build when we loose someone we love. It may not feel like it but in time your crying will ease or stop.
Not being able to cry could possibly be, you have disconnected from the reality that your loved one has died or you are feeling overwhelmed with other past memories which were not expressed whilst your loved one was alive. Feeling angry may be an emotion which may hinder the tears from falling again once you have dealt with what may be behind you being unable to cry your tears may start to flow naturally.
Grieving is an individual process and no two person will grieve in the same way, therefore allow your self the time to grieve and do not apologise for doing so. The time it takes for one person may double with another, it also differs with who has died and how they have died.
Friends at times do not know what to say they may not like to see you in pain yet feel hopeless in knowing what to do in support of you. At times like these the bereaved may possibly turn to counselling someone who will listen to you without judgement, someone who understands that your feelings are valid and need to be expressed in order that you may start to feel better.
Having physical symptoms after we have lost a love one or loved ones is not unusual. They may start suddenly when you thought you have dealt with your grief could be months or years. Because you have not taken the time to grieve properly, you may have even numbed your emotions because the pain was too much to bear you got busy with other life activities only to find things are slipping each day. The emotional charge needs to be released. Too often there are so many things to organise when a loved one dies it may take time for you to sit and really take stock others may be afraid to sit so try and fill each waking moment.
The intensity of your grief over time will become more comfortable to live with, in bereavement work we call this the continuing bond. Once you have taken the time to work through your grief what was an external expression of overwhelming thoughts and emotions you are now able to cope with daily living with your loved one becoming more an inward expression. Where once you may have felt unable to cope or carry on you find with time and support of a good counsellor life holds some meaning again.
A person cannot use time to measure how long they should grieve the loss of a loved one, getting support from a counsellor may possibly help with how raw your feeling are. You cannot put a time on love neither can you put a time on grieving we are all individuals.
Any first anniversary after your loved one has passed will make you feel a little anxious because it is again a reminder they are not here with you and family. Not saying you have forgotten but when you may have gotten to a place where you are trying to put the pieces back together again an anniversary takes you back. Some people mark anniversaries by doing something in remembrance either as a family or individually.
Unfortunately where your loved one was an active part of your family circle there will always be that reminder when family comes together. What you may find is the dread you may have felt in the beginning may get a bit easier as time moves on. Again seek support if your feeling are becoming too overwhelming.
No you are not going mad, many people find some comfort in talking to their loved ones, the mind can play tricks on us and what was a familiar thing for you to do in the past unconsciously you continually do and may catch your self doing so have a laugh call yourself a silly name and move on or gets you crying. It may also bring back a fond memory which you thought you had forgotten. However if you are spending every waking moment having a conversation with your loved one its time to seek professional support.
Feeling guilty is part of the grieving process, and perfectly natural even though you may not have anything to be guilty about, you done all you could, somehow in grief with trying to find an answer. Even though your loved one may have been ill for some time you find yourself feeling guilty and knowing it is irrational does not stop you having the feelings.
In time you may start to feel better and your heart will feel like its mending however the scars will remain. Those scares are of the precious memories and love you have for the one you lost loosing someone you love is not only a shock to your system physical symptoms can feel so real. Give yourself time to heal speak to a counsellor.
Why someone choose to take their own life is still not yet fully understood, yet it happens.
Loosing someone you love who decided to take their own life can be so overwhelming. The ones left behind are left with so many questions, here guilt can play a huge part ‘why did they not talk to me. ‘Why’ did i not see it coming? Why did I not see they needed help? I only spoke to them yesterday why did i not sense that something was wrong?. So many questions can plague your every moment and possible feelings of guilt, shame, anger, blame
Did they take their own life or did someone do this to them? I would suggest seeking the help of a counsellor, when someone commit suicide more so than other deaths we may be left with so many unanswered questions even if there was a note it can be hard to comprehend that someone we love can take such a decision. With other deaths you may have seem physical symptoms they may have been ill for some time or you are told they died because of a particular condition. Mental illness can at times go undetected you cannot always see the signs nor symptoms depression is a mask worn by many `very well. Seek professional help