The Stages Of Grief

The Stages Of Grief

The Emotions Of Bereavement

Death is another step towards home  – Ram Dass

When we lose someone we love, our own skin can feel like an uncomfortable place to be for a while. Although it may not seem possible to believe right now but as time goes on things will become easier. Sometimes however the emotions can become too overwhelming to overcome alone.

At this time everything else may start to suffer your work, sleep patterns, your chores, your health; and things may seem to take forever to complete. You may even decide not to do anything at all, you may stop seeing friends, and family altogether, isolating yourself from the world around you.

Emotions at this time can be like a flood, arriving suddenly and making you feel as though you are drowning without a way to swim. Bereavement counselling is like a boat in an ocean of emotions, Your counsellor will reach out a hand and support you to transform your grief into relief.

Although grief is a very personal thing, and we all experience it differently. The process of grief moves through distinct stages, though these stages are not linear. As you go through each of these stages the emotions felt will be different, give yourself time.

The Cycle Of Grief You May Go Through:

  1. Denial

Denial is generated by fear; Not believing things are as they are, you may want to check for yourself by touching, grabbing and hitting. Because you know that if the person were alive, they would not tolerate such behaviour. You may feel shocked, numbness or exhaustion.

Your broken heart will heal
I know and feel my heart will be forever filled with the scars of loosing you.
  1. Anger

It is natural to feel angry when someone you love dies, your anger could be based around not getting to say goodbye. Or you may feel that you have unfinished business or that let your loved one down in some way. You could be feeling angry because they have left you behind and you cannot at this time see how you can face the world without them for another day.

Your heart will heal again
When I learned of my loved ones passing it felt like my heart fell to the ground and shattered into pieces.
  1. Bargaining

You may find yourself praying and asking for the life of the person just to see them one more time or to spend another day or hour.  You may even ask for your life to be taken instead.

You will learn about yourself during the process.
Open your heart to your emotions.
  1. Depression

Some people may become depressed not wanting to do anything, they may be unable to do the bare minimum each day. You may stop caring for yourself, personal hygiene goes out the window, and all you want to do is sleep or remain curled up in bed or on the sofa.

Your heart may feel broken
It just breaks my heart every passing day the pain is so intense i just want you back again.
  1. Acceptance

This is usually the final stage in the grieving process and can take some time to get here and stay here. Acceptance comes when you can acknowledge that your loved one has died and that you need to carry on your life without them. While moving forward but not forgetting the special memories you shared (continuing the bond).

In our sessions when I sit with you, you may be going through grief in one or more of these ways. I cannot magically take away your pain, but I can guide you through it. I will be there every step of the way to support you. You will feel heard in your grief than one day that grief will be behind you.

If you are struggling with grief, click here to learn more about Marlene and learn how to book a session.

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